SOMEONE YOU NEED TO MEET

Something I have been looking forward to writing for a couple of months now but know that I cant do it the justice it deserves, I will try nonetheless. This is a part of my life that not many are aware of and it is long overdue. When I was sixteen years old and a sophomore in high school, I got my girlfriend of two years pregnant. Needless to say we were young and scared and unsure what to do, so we did nothing, all the while trying to hide this from our parents. We somehow were successful until about the six month mark. We both thought somehow that we were ready for this amazing gift and that we would all live happily ever after. Once our parents found out and they explained to us that we could never handle this great responsibility at such a young age and that we should give our baby up for adoption to a family that was unable to have children but very capable of raising a child in a loving home and able to provide the things we couldn't. After going around and around with our parents , we came to the conclusion that this would be the best thing for the baby and we reluctantly agreed to the plan. We were heart broken but a family was decided on before the birth and we had the opportunity to find out about them and we were both happy to know she would have every opportunity that we could not provide. My girlfriend was taken out of our high school and attended a different school and I remained at my school. One of my biggest regrets in life was the way I separated myself from the situation from that point. I was young and stupid but that is no excuse. I was embarrassed of what people would think of me, so I spent very little time with her. I was so worried about my reputation and how all this would effect me. I did still spend time with her but not near as much as I should have. When the big day finally came, I was pulled out of my auto shop class and driven to the hospital, where she was already in labor. This was the first time I realized just how terrible of a thing I had done by not spending every second with her. I was scared to death, so you can only imagine how scared she was. I jumped into it though and went through the being thrown up on, ice chips, scratching, yelling, and hand breaking squeezes, a small price to pay compared to hers. After a few hours our baby was born. It was a beautiful, perfect, little girl, the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She was named Julie and we were both able to hold her for a short while and then had to give her up to the adoptive family. It was the hardest thing we had ever done in our short lives. I remember leaving the hospital with such a feeling of loss, one that I would carry for years to come. My girlfriend and I stayed together for another year and a half or so after that but ended up unable to get along and so ended our relationship. A couple of years later I met my wife and we moved on with our life in the military and eventually had Mackenzie together. I never stopped thinking about Julie, I actually would dream of a day when we would see each other again. That day came soon after I left the military. She tracked me down after she had turned eighteen with the blessing of her family. We met in Laguna Beach and walked and talked and tried to cram the missing years into hours. I was so happy and so proud to see the young woman she had become. Her parents did an amazing job with her and I am sure that they are proud to be her parents. After weeks of trying to decide how to explain this situation to a young Mackenzie, I decided to inform her of her older sister. Soon after, at both of their requests, we all met for dinner. What an amazing evening to see these two together. They both brought each other flowers and drawings and letters, without either knowing what the the other was showing up with. They were immediately sisters making plans for the future. We spent some time together after that but kind of lost touch months later. It was probably my fault for rushing them together so quickly. Julie had alot going on in her life, as most girls her age do, and I truly believe that I helped confuse her even more. We spent the next couple years out of contact and both of our lives changed immensely. At the same time I was losing Mackenzie, Julie and her new husband were losing their child as he came into the world. A year or so later, Julie found out about Mackenzie and contacted me and told me of her tragedy and the next thing you know, it was time for me to step off on my walk. The last time I ever saw Mackenzie was in her moms driveway the day before she was killed and the last thing we spoke about in person, was Mackenzie's wanting to find Julie again, its what she always wanted. I kept in touch with Julie throughout my walk, actually walking while talking with her on the phone sometimes. I told her that I wanted to write about her and let everyone know about her but I wanted to make sure it was okay with her and her family. She has recently told me that she was good with that and here we are. I know this is what Mackenzie would want too and that she is looking at all of this with a smile. I have loved Julie since the first second I saw her and Mackenzie loved her from the second she heard about her and we will both love her forever. She wants to be part of us and we want to be part of her. I would love to have her involved with what I am doing and for her to meet all of you that support me and Kenzie. I would like her to be a part of the family that spans all states and many countries. It is a great feeling to know where ever you are, you are not far from those who care. Once she okays it, I would like to post her email and Facebook address on here. Never wait for tomorrow.